I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This house was built for laser tag.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
