I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
