The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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