Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
