Nicole vs. Life
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
