Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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