The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
