phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
