I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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