I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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