when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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