ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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