I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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