Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
