You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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