My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
