Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
