Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
too bad you live with your parents still
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
