As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
