At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
