Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
