It was confusing and full of hummus
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
