guys are only as good as the porn they watch
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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