yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
