yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
