I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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