Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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