You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
