why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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