Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
