Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
