New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
