New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
