He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
