i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
