That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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