I don't usually arrange sex via text message
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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