he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
