Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
