Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this beer tastes like vomit already
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
