Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
