i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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