I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
