we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
