...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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