What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I came so hard my ears popped.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
