I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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