Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
