You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Randomize
