I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
