I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
